Top 10 Fantasy Fights

This week, the UFC is putting on a countdown of their 100 greatest fights ever. So I thought it would be interesting to do something similar. So, over the next few days, I will countdown a list of the top 10 fights that I would have liked to see happen. Why? I'm working, I'm not in school, and I'm bored. Sue me.

This list will compose of real and fictional people, and is purely my opinion. So without further ado, let's get started!!!

10. Monica Lewinsky vs. Hilary Clinton

When you talk about chickfights, there are many female celebrity feuds that come into play. However, when you consider the magnitude of the circumstances surrounding these two women, this is THE chickfight to see (of course, next to Carano/Cyborg). Hilary Clinton was the first lady of arguably one of the HIPPEST presidents to ever grace the White House. Bill smoked weed, played the sax, and had sexual relations with other women behind his wife's back. Hilary should have not only been pissed that her husband cheated on her, but on an uglier woman!!!!! If this fight were to happen, I would picture Hilary being the aggressor, using her limberness to dominate Lewinsky from bell to bell.


9. Steve Urkel vs. Screech

When you talk nerds, these two names come to mind. Steve Urkel was the surprise nerd who appeared on the show Family Matters, which was a spinoff from the show 'Perfect Strangers' (remember that show?). Screech was the nerd from Bayside High, always the lackey of Zack Morris. So what would happen when these two titans of the textbook face off? Urkel wins. He has the technology to transform himself into anyone he wants (remember that Bruce Lee episode?) Urkel via TKO in the first round.

8. Criss Angel vs. David Blaine

Our second chickfight...wait, never mind. We have two magicians face off. David Blaine burst onto the magic scene with his 1997 special where he mesmerized audiences with his ridiculous illusions. Criss Angel comes along in 2005 with Mindfreak, and takes Blaine's tricks and literally amps them up. And then every other year you see one of the two men perform some ridiculous trick or escape (usually hanging in the air). Criss Angel usually hides behind his jacket and his chains trying to put on some rocker/goth type image, and has the voice and lisp of a post-op transvestite. David Blaine seems more composed and to himself. If these two ever decided to face off, Blaine would most certainly dominate.

7. Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin

Why cartoon characters? Cause Matt Groening vs. Seth Mcfarlane would have been tougher to analyze. Besides, seeing a super-heavyweight matchup of this magnitude would be far more interesting. Homer Simpson came onto the scene in the early 90's, as a bumbling, drunken father on the TV show "The Simpsons." In 1999, Peter Griffin appears on family guy as a...drunken...bumbling...father. Oy. Well, it's no use comparing these two characters, but comparing their fighting styles is far different. Peter Griffin is by far the better striker, as shown in various episodes fighting multiple characters. And he can go on for minutes on end. But Homer is the cartoon version of Rocky Balboa: he can take punches.

If this came to fruition, Griffin would attack early and often, while Simpson (with Moe in his corner) would take punches trying to tire Griffin out. While rather large, Griffin has a ton of stamina for a man his size, and would very likely eke out a decision over Simpson.


So there it is, fights 10-7. Stay tuned for the next installment!!!