Top 10: Finale + UFC 100 Predictions

So here we are. Nine fights down, one more to go. What could be number one on this list? Your answer lies below. Drumroll!!!!














1. Austin St. John vs. Jason David Frank













That's right, I WENT THERE! This was one of the most anticipated fights when I was a kid, and now that I am a grown man, I STILL want to see this happen! I mean, think about it. Austin St. John was known as the original red ranger. The LEADER. And then what happened, Jason David Frank came in and stole his spotlight. Shortly after Frank came on the show, St. John was a ranger no more, and Frank assumed the role of the de-facto head honcho. To describe this in a way other people may understand, Jason David Frank is the HHH of the power rangers. If you get that reference, congratulations. Austin St. John faded into obscurity, as did Frank. However, Frank has expressed interest in fighting St. John. Unfortunately that will probably never happen due to this:

Obviously the depression has lasted with him to this day. But who would win a fight between both men in their prime? Tough call. Frank has a stronger kickboxing background, but St. John has a stronger will. Gotta give it to St. John.


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So, still here?

Well, here are my predictions for tomorrow night.

Dan Henderson vs. Michael Bisping

These men went at it as coaches on TUF 9. Bisping's Brits wiped the floor with the US, and Henderson must have a fire under his ass right now. This fight will very likely go the distance, and I think Henderson's will will eke out Bisping's skill. Bisping doesn't seem strong enough to knock Henderson out, or strong enough to take him down. I have been proven wrong before (see my pitiful 0 for 3 article on UFC 99). But, I pick Hendo to win by unanimous decision.

Georges St. Pierre vs. Thiago Alves

Alves is a BEAST. That is all that needs to be said about him. The man walks around at 200 pounds and is the biggest man GSP has ever had to face. I realize that GSP has better technique than the powerhouse Alves, but technique will get you nowhere if you cannot take your opponent down. Look for Alves to keep this one standing and GSP to try and get him to the ground ASAP. I know I am going to get flamed for this, but I am picking Alves to dethrone GSP. Alves gets the knockout in the second round.

Frank Mir vs. Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar and Frank Mir have already fought before, with Mir submitting him via leglock. Afterwards, Lesnar dismantled Heath Herring and defeated Randy Couture to win the Heavyweight crown. All in less than 5 fights. Mir had defeated Minotauro Noguiera to win the interim crown. There are many skeptics who aren't giving Mir a shot in this one due to the fact that Noguiera was nowhere near 100%.

Here's the thing, Lesnar had beaten another brawler and a wrestler. He had never dealt with anyone comfortable on his back other than frank Mir. Herring was a brawler, Couture was a wrestler. All Lesnar has is his wrestling, his power, and his oh-so-gay looking hammerfist (albeit it IS powerful). He claims he wants revenge, and he claims he won't get caught in that leglock again. I think that Lesnar has had nightmares every night up until today. And I think his vengeful mood will affect his fighting. When one fights for revenge, one tends to lose focus. And you need to realize something else. Frank Mir is fighting for redemption. After a motorcycle accident took him out a few years ago, he has clawed his way back up and is one more fight away from supremacy. He has much more to lose than Lesnar. I think Mir will weather the storm in the first round, and go to submit Lesnar in the second. I don't think Lesnar has learned enough in the past few months to handle Mir's Jiu-jitsu. We'll see what happens tomorrow night.

In the esteemed words of Mills Lane and Marvin Gaye: LET'S GET IT ON!

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Top 10: Part 3

Tonight the UFC Ultimate 100 takes a break, but I am not! Tonight I will reveal two more fights that made the top 3!


3. Tony Jaa vs. Bruce Lee

When I started this countdown, I am sure that you knew Bruce Lee would be here sooner or later. It was only a matter of when and against who. Bruce Lee is the founding father of Jeet Kune Do, the "style of no styles." In many ways, Jeet Kune Do concepts are nearly identical to those of mixed martial artists today. Bruce Lee claimed that a fighter should do whatever is necessary to defend himself. JKD advocates the combination of different styles, to create an entity that is unbounded and free. Hell, Bruce Lee essentially IS the father of MMA.

Tony Jaa is arguably one of the best action stars of this generation. If you have seen his movies (Ong-Bak, the Protector), he is on a level like no other action star. He was even touted as the next Bruce Lee (in terms of action movie stardom). It remains to be seen whether Hollywood will give him a chance, but he is arguably the next great action star.

Now, how would these two fare against each OTHER? It's JKD vs. Muay Thai. Bruce Lee's fitness does not touch Jaa's, and his philosophy of martial arts is unparalleled. Lee would take this fight easily, by finding Jaa's weaknesses, and exploiting them, breaking him down methodically until Jaa can fight no more. Sure, this would end up being one sided, but I am sure it would be entertaining as hell to watch.

2. Alex Trebek vs. Sean Connery

Wait, what? What beef do these two have with each other?

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Got it? After watching the most recent Celebrity Jeopardy sketch on SNL a while ago, I realized these two characters absolutely HATED each other. How many times while watching these sketches did you think Trebek was just going to go apeshit on Connery? He never had the outlet! Connery always got the best of Trebek, and I know Trebek would want revenge. Read on...

This would probably be one of the most hyped fights ever (well, maybe not more than #1). Picture the weigh-in: Trebek comes out, weighs in, followed by Connery whose laugh can be heard from the back. Trebek cannot hold his frustrations and tries attacking Connery. Connery fires jeers back at Trebek as security escorts him out.

Fight day. Both men are in the cage, and meet in the centre to receive instructions, while Connery points out Trebek's mother at ringside. The fight would pretty much be Trebek wildly swinging at Connery while he laughs and cracks mother jokes. Connery laughs it up until Trebek lands a few shots and the brawl is on. Both men would slug it out for 3 rounds until it goes to a decision. This one would end in a DRAW, folks. Come on, there is no true winner here, as Trebek would at least bask in the relief that he defended his mother's honor and beat the holy hell out of Connery...until his mother enters the ring and reveals that she slept with Connery.



So what rivalry would top this? Stay tuned until tomorrow, along with my predictions for UFC 100!!!

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Top 10: Part 2

Hope you enjoyed the first part of the countdown, so I am wasting no time. Here are the next set of fights!

6. Tupac Shakur vs. Biggie Smalls

Ok, we all know that the East vs West rap rivalry took the stage and that there were many players. But these two men seem to sum this rivalry up best in our lifetime. Biggie Smalls grew up in a tough childhood...aw hell, I don't need to describe his life, just watch 'Notorious.' Comparing these two men is like comparing an elephant to a lion. And unlike Peter Griffin, I don't think that Biggie's girth would do wonders for his stamina. I would expect this fight to begin with Biggie being the aggressor, but losing steam mid-fight, allowing Tupac to take over and secure a win in the middle of the fight.

5. Adolf Hitler vs. Winston Churchill

We all know that World War two was unnecessary, so why not put the two top leaders of that war in a cage together? Both men were soldiers for their respective countries. Churchill undoubtedly has more experience in the army, as he served from 1895 to around 1915. He traveled to multiple countries and served as a cavalry officer. However, Hitler's role during WW1 will become the difference maker in this fight. You know why he was so intense and intimidating during his speeches? Imagine running across the Western Front with bullets flying all around you. That's what Hitler didm and it undoubtedly made him a tough Gefreiter. All politics aside, if these two squared off, I would see Hitler garnering the win, as his army experience undoubtedly makes him much tougher than the British bomber.

4. David Letterman vs. Jay Leno

You knew this one was coming sooner or later. We have 'The Chin' vs 'The Gap.' Quick backstory: David Letterman was believed to be touted as the replacement for the late, great, Johnny Carson for the host of the Tonight Show, but Jay Leno stuck his chin in his business and took the job. Well, Letterman must have been pissed off, and I bet if given the opportunity, would love to get in the ring with Leno. Here's how I see the fight going down: Letterman would come out swinging, but Leno's rock hard chin would likely deflect all of Letterman's punches. Leno would then come back and stick his fist right into Letterman's gap, knocking him out instantly.

And there we go! Seven down, three to go. And believe me, the best is yet to come...

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Top 10 Fantasy Fights

This week, the UFC is putting on a countdown of their 100 greatest fights ever. So I thought it would be interesting to do something similar. So, over the next few days, I will countdown a list of the top 10 fights that I would have liked to see happen. Why? I'm working, I'm not in school, and I'm bored. Sue me.

This list will compose of real and fictional people, and is purely my opinion. So without further ado, let's get started!!!

10. Monica Lewinsky vs. Hilary Clinton

When you talk about chickfights, there are many female celebrity feuds that come into play. However, when you consider the magnitude of the circumstances surrounding these two women, this is THE chickfight to see (of course, next to Carano/Cyborg). Hilary Clinton was the first lady of arguably one of the HIPPEST presidents to ever grace the White House. Bill smoked weed, played the sax, and had sexual relations with other women behind his wife's back. Hilary should have not only been pissed that her husband cheated on her, but on an uglier woman!!!!! If this fight were to happen, I would picture Hilary being the aggressor, using her limberness to dominate Lewinsky from bell to bell.


9. Steve Urkel vs. Screech

When you talk nerds, these two names come to mind. Steve Urkel was the surprise nerd who appeared on the show Family Matters, which was a spinoff from the show 'Perfect Strangers' (remember that show?). Screech was the nerd from Bayside High, always the lackey of Zack Morris. So what would happen when these two titans of the textbook face off? Urkel wins. He has the technology to transform himself into anyone he wants (remember that Bruce Lee episode?) Urkel via TKO in the first round.

8. Criss Angel vs. David Blaine

Our second chickfight...wait, never mind. We have two magicians face off. David Blaine burst onto the magic scene with his 1997 special where he mesmerized audiences with his ridiculous illusions. Criss Angel comes along in 2005 with Mindfreak, and takes Blaine's tricks and literally amps them up. And then every other year you see one of the two men perform some ridiculous trick or escape (usually hanging in the air). Criss Angel usually hides behind his jacket and his chains trying to put on some rocker/goth type image, and has the voice and lisp of a post-op transvestite. David Blaine seems more composed and to himself. If these two ever decided to face off, Blaine would most certainly dominate.

7. Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin

Why cartoon characters? Cause Matt Groening vs. Seth Mcfarlane would have been tougher to analyze. Besides, seeing a super-heavyweight matchup of this magnitude would be far more interesting. Homer Simpson came onto the scene in the early 90's, as a bumbling, drunken father on the TV show "The Simpsons." In 1999, Peter Griffin appears on family guy as a...drunken...bumbling...father. Oy. Well, it's no use comparing these two characters, but comparing their fighting styles is far different. Peter Griffin is by far the better striker, as shown in various episodes fighting multiple characters. And he can go on for minutes on end. But Homer is the cartoon version of Rocky Balboa: he can take punches.

If this came to fruition, Griffin would attack early and often, while Simpson (with Moe in his corner) would take punches trying to tire Griffin out. While rather large, Griffin has a ton of stamina for a man his size, and would very likely eke out a decision over Simpson.


So there it is, fights 10-7. Stay tuned for the next installment!!!

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